Professor Chaos

Chaos Blast! — {u}, {t}: Roll a six sided dice: Return target creature with mana value equal to or less than the number rolled to their owners
hand.

Confuse-O-Tron — Instants and Sorceries your opponents control cost {2} more to cast.

It's the liberal media! They're keeping the stories of
my deeds covered up, so as not to cause a panic.
Well, I guess it's time to step it up a notch!